Thursday, May 15, 2008

Russian Brides. Do Western Men Hunt For The Girls?

Do we Russian girls have something that differs us from the representatives of excellent gender, living in more prosperous countries, that foreigners are willing to spend a lot of money, if only to marry a Russian girl? Some of them come to Russia several times in stubborn pursuit of their goal.

The general view of Western men: Russian girls are kinder, more caring and thrifty. They are good wives. Women in the West, according to men's view, are materialist too much, demanding and spoiled. To some extent this is true. Russian women look better, dress elegance and neat (we have never suspected!) seem more kind and "homy".

Men in the West do not look to the welfare of the bride, the most important thing for them - external attractiveness and sexuality. Only dull-witted, poorly educated man can decide on "marriage of convenience", the rest ones can earn the status by their job. Due to the western wages it is not beyond one's power.

We can not say that there are not beautiful women in the West. There are, and quite a lot. But what distinguishes Russian women is a desire to be "loved". Our Russian women are femininity. The sea of warmth and charm is in them. Western women are pretty and smiling, quite friendly, but they are "cold". Growing up in prosperous society, they are too independent and self-sufficiency. They strongly aware of their rights and, above all, they are not obliged to tolerate the inconvenience.

The first question they ask themselves if there are any, even the smallest differences: "Why do I need this?" They are not accustomed to "renounce their principles". The more beautiful woman is, the more confident she is on her indisputable right to the very best in the life - a beautiful, sporty, smart and educated husband, of the high wealth and tireless care of her.

Western woman knows the price of them and their attractiveness. In the West, men still care for women, not vice versa! The men with whom I have had conversations (many of them were previously married), said with one accord: Russian women are good wives. They were hampered to explain what was the difference between a Russian wife and the wife from the West - both are cooking for the family, maintain the order in the house, raise children, care of the husband - but agreed in one: Russian wife - is another life, more happy and calm. According to them, with Russian wife, the marriage "works out".

We are just raised in different conditions that makes the other mode of human relations. We grew up in close apartments, where if sneeze, you can hear "Be healthy!" through out the neighbor's wall. A family of 4-people in three generations, excellently got along together (and they are getting along) in two-room small-size apartments, which would be rather little for one on Western standards. Even at the desk in our schools we have two pupils, while they have one.

The state of perpetual crowding leads to birth of healthy "feeling of comradeship" when, willy-nilly you have to make others into account. We grow up in a situation where everything depends on everyone. Russian people, and especially a woman, has a surprising ability to adapt. Nowhere, except in Russia, could be born the saying "A human is not a dog, he can be accustomed to everything." Our people feel like a fish in water, in an environment that is absolutely unbearable for any normal Westerners.

In family life, this ability is resulted as a limitless tolerance. Russian woman did not even notice any infringement of her interests, where a normal woman from the West already shut the door with a bang after a hot quarrel. The point is not that women are spoiled or ill-humored - Western woman does not have a mental mobility, which allows you to survive in this situation without losing the integrity of your ego.

This is a key point, where the differences in approach to family life are from. If there is a disagreement on any matter, the Western woman will always act according to her own understanding of the proper way out of this situation. When she is confident in her rightness, she has not thought not to take action against the husband. Even if she goes to a compromise, she would feel deeply unhappy and will not let her husband forget for a moment, what she has sacrificed.

For Russian woman a compromise is a way of life. If a violence is inevitable then to relax and enjoy. Russian woman is natural in her adoption of behavior and actions of her husband.

That does not mean that she does not try to influence on them. She just does not try them reject. She is always with her husband. That's all the secret. We are not better. We are not kinder. We just are more tolerant. Our personal scale of assessment of the values has more points, and where the western thermometer maxed out there the ours continues to work successfully. Actually this is a great thing - the ability to accept the reality and people as they are.

Another objectively existing option, which is crucial for foreigners is the place of the family in a woman's life. Our Russian woman naturally puts the family above career. The Western men call this "commitment to the traditional family values" Dating and Matchmaking agencies receive many letters from women whose career is quite successful, even on Western standards. These successful and professional women consider themselves deprived with family and children. They are happy to exchange the high professional status for the position of Western housewife.

For Western women the housewives rank is somewhere on the level of our Janitor. She can feel happy, only reaching the certain professional peaks. In principle, there is the aim to fight for - high professional status ensures a high life level. In Russia, even having a relatively high post, a woman does not receive good money, which provides the freedom and independence. With our Russian salaries - you doing any career, still will not earn money to have a decent standard of living - own country house, car and a good ability to manage them, the opportunity to travel in first class and the most important thing that money brings- the possibility not to worry anymore.

Career successes are also unstable in Russia. What happened with thousands of bank employees, which were the subject of envy and the dreams of career, after the crisis of August 1998? Frankly, the family life has potentially much more satisfying but fewer disorders, than the work.

By: Julia Pika
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